Whenever the red mist descends upon me, I remember an article that Stephen Fry - a talented lad – once wrote for The Listener about losing his sock. I haven’t lost my sock – on this occasion, at least – but my personal DEFCON is fast approaching pushtheredfuckingbuttonandtohellwith’emall. ‘I am angry. I am really angry. I am so angry I [...]
Filed under: Parenting | Tagged: Aggravating stuff, Angst, Fat Fighters, Infertility, uterus didelphys | 26 Comments »
Last night, I stayed up until nearly dawn writing a report that was 5 times longer than I’d originally envised it, detailing Harry’s… quirks… for his new nursery staff at School Fabulous (© May). I’m hoping his more adorable qualities will become self-evident to them, because I haven’t had space to talk about those. It’s… kinda long. John and [...]
Filed under: Parenting | Tagged: Angst, Parenting, School Fabulous, Speech Delay | 16 Comments »
The cervical screening agency have, presumably, been firing out my reminder letters to… someone. Judging by the plaintive tone of the letter I eventually received from my practice nurse, they must have been sending me exploding-speculum howlers. I dutifully made an immediate appointment and bowled up on time, feeling virtuous. Our practice nurse is an [...]
Filed under: Parenting | Tagged: Infertility, pubic peril, uterus didelphys | 13 Comments »
Today, I am 35. I am half-way through my three-score-years-and-10 officially alloted (hah!) lifespan. Naturally, I am handling it gracefully. I am chewing on the furniture in wild-eyed desperation, casting myself into gloom with painfully cliched self-interrogation. What have I done? What have I achieved? How much time have I gone and bloody wasted? Etc, et-horribly tedious-c. John, correctly deeming us to be stony [...]
Filed under: Parenting | Tagged: birthday blues, Bloggy Buddies | 31 Comments »
when your absolute crowning ambition, the pinnacle, the reward for your hours of enthusiastic demonstrating, the niftiest thing that would make you both the proudest parents in all of Christendom, is for your toddler to master the Pink Panther Slink. And you know you’re truly returned to the bowels of the spirit-crushing machine that is the NH bloody S when they postpone [...]
Filed under: Parenting | Tagged: Aggravating stuff, His Lordship | 14 Comments »
I drew three stick-people for Harry to colour in. One had trousers, one (in best gender-stereotypical fashion) had a skirt, and the third was half the size of the other two, like so: I asked him to draw Daddy some Wellie boots, which he did. I asked him to draw Mummy some gloves, which he did. [...]
Filed under: Parenting | Tagged: Boobs Out!, His Lordship | 13 Comments »
