Robin of Sherwood vs. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say “when.”  ~P.G. Wodehouse

I approach this subject shyly. Yet it has to be faced. The baby fat hasn’t gone yet. And the really upsetting thing is, I was 3 stone overweight when I became pregnant. I put on, oooh, a stone and a half with Harry. And a further half stone after he was born. So, that’s a grand total of – count them – 5 extra stones. Gosh. Some women find that breastfeeding drains them of weight. Ha. Lucky them. I’ve never been so goddamn hungry in my life.

The peculiar thing is, in my head, I’m still the 10¾ stone I was when I started going out with John in August 2002. The weight started creeping on – not for the first time in my life – shortly afterwards when I gave up smoking, and I had to diet fairly hard to get down to 12 stone for our wedding in March 2004.

Erm, that’s the wind, not my actual haircut. And this isn’t my wedding outfit, you understand, this is the day afterwards. I haven’t an accurate photo of what I looked like on the day itself because I, ummm, photoshopped them all to make myself look thinner. Hating typing this post, people.

Since then it has all been bad bad bad, because John and I do love our food. He works his calories off, but I am a card-carrying couch potato; even when slim I cordially detest exercise, although I have been forced into it in the past when my weight has overtaken the average prop forward. Plus, I adore baking, have a dreadfully sweet tooth, and have a longstanding love affair with chocolate and ice cream. Nevertheless, you’d think 6 years would be sufficient time to mentally adjust to what my no-longer-new silhouette actually looks like, yes? 

Nah. 

I looked into a shop window Monday afternoon and caught a glimpse of a huuuuuuuuuge arse. Counter-balanced by an equally staggering belly and boobs, and OMG she’s wearing my clothes… oh. 

That’d be me, then.

To be fair, my bad-back-slightly-crouched-posture was doing my bum no favours that day, but the fact remains that I shyed away from the window like a startled pony and plunged miserably on to where the shop windows were less bloody reflective. In my deluded little brain, you see, my excess weight has been temporary, hence I don’t actually have to deal with the altered body image. Really, any day now, I’m going to get back into all my size 12 (US size 10) clothes. Just like that. This is why I refuse to buy nice clothes in large sizes these days – because I won’t be wearing them long! Except… I’m switched on about the bum thing sufficiently to realise that a bit of concealment is in order when you have acres of flesh to shoehorn behind cloth. My taste in clothes used to run to bright pinks, expensive cuts and cleavage. Your average drag queen could probably find something appealing in my disused spare-room wardrobe. Now, my washing line consists purely of bargain-line browns, dark greens, blacks and greys. Camouflage for someone no longer willing to invest in her appearance.

Not only is my weight horribly affecting my self-esteem, but is probably impacting on my fertility by now as well; I deliberately haven’t checked my BMI, but I know that I’m well into the Clinically Obese sector. When your ovaries are a bit useless in any case, this sort of baggage overload matters.

So! What to do? I have done a little already. I tipped the scales at 15 stone 7.5 pounds in January when I joined Fat Fighters, and since then I have managed to claw my way down to 14 stone 11 pounds. I can’t employ my tried and tested combination of savage crash diet and gym overload (although I have lost 4 stone fast this way in the Marlboro Lights-illuminated past), not with a baby still on the boob. I do have to eat well, and illicit extras aside, I’m already a healthy eater. What I have to do is move my arse more. 30 minutes, every day, on the cross-trainer John bought me for my birthday in February, and placed (at my request) in the living room. I have been using it as a clothes airer. Cough.

You will also notice a new little widget up the top right that states my weight. I will update it daily wherever possible. If it starts to stall, then can someone give me a gentle, you know… nudge? Cheers, me dears.

*updated May 2010*

Yeah. That widget didn’t last long! And oddly enough, I am still 14st 11lbs!

 

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22 Responses

  1. you’re a brave girl, posting your weight out there like that. Of course, with our fertility issues, I’ve been sharing my whole cycle with random strangers, so it’s probably like that. I hope you don’t mind, but I enjoyed reading your post and when I realized you were British, I had to read your entries with a made-up British accent in my head. 🙂

    Good luck with the weight loss and hopefully finding some place else to hang the clothes?

  2. Luuuurrrrrvvvveee the Wodehouse quotation. And kudos to you for being upfront about your weight issues — I make a habit of not looking in store windows myself. And shopping can be excruciating. But I like pretending, on my blog, that I’m one of the skinny girls.

  3. We might be long lost relatives . . . I love chocolate, ice cream and LOVE to bake. Problem is – Hubby doesn’t like sweets. So who has to eat all the fresh baked goodies?!?! I try to give away most of it, but I can’t let it go to waste.

    Hubby tries to make me feel better and tell me to just buy bigger clothes not realizing that is the *wrong* answer. I mean, it just isn’t economical to go buy bigger clothes when I already have a closet full that WOULD fit if I could just find the motivation . . .

  4. I know where you’re coming from, not with the wedding, pregnancy and all that malarky, but the weight! I need to nudge myself every now and then and this last two weeks have NOT been good – need to climb back on that horse again!

  5. I hear you loud and clear. And I can’t blame the baby weight given that my last pregnancy was 24 years ago! Every stitch on my clothing is doing more than it’s duty. And, like you, I desperately miss the colour.

    You’re on your way. Well done.

  6. Best of luck in your weight loss!!!

  7. Good luck with the diet! I hate excercise, but it is sometimes a necessary evil. Grrrr.

  8. One of the things I am very much Not Looking Forward To after this pregnancy is the reality of just how much of the weight I have gained will remain…..

    J

  9. From NCLM…

    I’m in the same boat as you. Wish I had something helpful to offer. I just blew my diet on cake though, so I’m afraid I’m no help.

  10. Hola from NCLM…

    I totally feel your pain. I swear once I hit 25 years old, everything I ate went straight to my butt & hips…

    I have been trying to get it off for the last 7 years. It’s hard I tell ya.

    Good luck & know you’re not alone 🙂

  11. Oh Lor’, I know what you mean. Every time I see my reflection in a shop window I think ‘oh, look, that fat girl has the same tee-shirt I do… Damn.’

    I weighed 14-and-a-half stone on my wedding day. And I wore scarlet. Hah! Luckily, with the aid of a corset, I had a spectacular waist. And then I expanded somewhat. I blame H. He eats like nineteen starving horses and portion control is a closed, burnt and buried book to the entire H clan. Anyhoo, I am now back down below (barely) my wedding weight (exercise. Long walks nearly every day), but unfortunately I can’t wear the corset every day as it makes it quite hard to bend over. Librarians need to bend over quite a lot.

    Good luck, oh brave and noble soldier.

  12. Hi there! I came here from the stirrup queen’s list. I’ve got my blog going from my decent from obesity so feel free to mosey over if you’d like. I’m digging your blog, excellent writing!

  13. God some of us seem to spend our whole life fighting ‘the fat’!
    When I hit 65 (years old) Im going to go the other way. Im going to see just how fat i can get!!!!! I think its called enjoying life??

    Hugs
    xxx

  14. When I hit 65 I’m gonna start smoking again, drink like a fish and eat chocolate like it’s just come off rationing. Hubba.

  15. Hi there… found my way here from NCLM and discovered you writing what I’ve been thinking. My scale seems to adore the number 200 and is slowly working its way up there with alarming speed.

    I lost loads of weight once before but my life wasn’t as draining or complicated as it is now. I *know* I need to change it but its almost like I can’t. I guess I just need to figure out why I keep sabotaging myself so much.

    Good luck with the exercise – also you might want to check out sparkpeople.com they have loads of helpful tools and suggestions. It def helped me in the past!

  16. Oh my god can I relate to this post. So much of what you’ve said so easily could have been written by me, but mine would have come off as much more whiny.

    I am noticably absent from photos of my daughter, which hurts me. Part of me can be seen in a photo taken with her last week and I felt physically sick after viewing it.

    Good luck with exercising and eating well. I’ve managed the eating well part, not so much on the exercise despite being a year-round athlete until I was 18. Ugh.

  17. I’ve finally been given the tentative okay to exercise (I had surgery 4 months ago). I admit I’m still carrying around 20 lbs of pregnancy weight 9 months later. At this rate I’m going to have to buy new clothes when I go back to work.

    I’m planning to start tonight… with 5 minutes… I’m supposed to take it slow so the nurse can make sure exercising isn’t going to set my recovery back… nothing like having a real excuse to not do it. Like I’m not good enough at coming up with one on my own.

    Best of luck. Keep us updated on how it’s going.

  18. It must be that season in the blogosphere, TInker wrote a similar post last week, and i have one brewing myself. I’m 30 pounds above my wedding weight, and desparately want to lose at least half of that so that I can get back into my work clothes rather than buy a whole new wardrobe (and they don’t make the good stuff in this size!). I have actually lost quite a bit of weight since I was pregnant, but the weight loss stalled about 3 months after she was born (and I too say ‘hah’ to that myth about weight loss while breastfeeding. I’m with you on the hungry thing). I’m trying to go to the gym, but how to fit that in with seeing the baby? It’s hard.

    You have my every sympathy, and I’ll be happy to give you the occasional push.

  19. I have had exactly those feelings. I picked up quite a bit after my second baby, then when she died I was comfort eating. Towards the end of last year I decided enough is enough, the weight has to come off. I started a weight loss blog and thought it would be helpful to get people to join me on my journey. I have lost 7kg (15lbs don’t know conversion to stone) since then and still have a few to go. I did not get much of a response though of people willing to put their details onto the blog and join me though. I did put some tips up for exercising at home and the whole commitment thing if you want to pop over and check it out. http://www.growby40.blogspot.com

  20. […] pastel for a family christening this sunday. I came home with a £12 pair of brown crop trousers. Robin of Sherwood just kicked Priscilla’s arse again. […]

  21. […] – and also avoided the gym for 3 weeks –  I am currently TWO POUNDS lighter than I was when I wrote this post, which is very very sad, and means I will have to buy a size FUCKING HUGE black skirt from […]

  22. […] I’m back on my ubiquitous Robin-of-Sherwood-meets-Priscilla-Queen-of-the-Desert topic again. Concerning which there have been too many posts, […]

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