Creepy & Crawly

My dresser is beginning to take shape. Although, I have spent more time applying white spirit to my paint-encrusted hands and dabbing at splotches on my clothes (Good clothes. Why don’t I take the trouble to put on old clothes? I know I’m clumsy) than I have actually applying paint to the wood.

Other projects this week have included scarecrow-making for a village fete this sunday. This is a major event in the village calendar! The usual english small country village affair: open gardens, jumble sale, tea & cakes, etc. A dog show has been added this year, and I am planning to enter Maddie & Tebbit into the Oddest Pair category. If they aren’t placed, I’m totally cow-patting the judges. John merely commented that if they didn’t win, he would be most interested to see the pair that did.

The scarecrows are back by popular demand, as the village had a competition for the best one some years ago, which was surprisingly good fun. John and I were monstrously pissed off that ours were overlooked: the judge never even saw them. John had made superman and dangled him off the church tower, and I had made a belly dancer and sheik. Shoulda won. Bah! Anyhoo, I have reprised my idea this year and am making another dancer. I am even re-using the head from the old one that John found lurking in a dark corner of the barn. I shall treat you to pictures later in the week; I know you’re all agog. I have also stuffed some of Harry’s prem baby clothes with plastic bags, and given them cartoon heads. I had in mind a jolly Babies Picnic-type affair, but they just ended up looking darkly macabre. Don’t think they’re a winner, myself.

What else has happened? Oh yes, I sat on my old couch and it collapsed. Strange that this should come after the Ann-must-diet post; it’s the sort of thing that could be a catalyst! I was sat perfectly still and demurely, drinking my coffee, minding my own business and chatting to two visiting friends, when I felt a peculiar pop underneath my left buttock. Rapidly followed by a sinking sensation. My right buttock was soon keen to join the general descent, and before I could utter a word, my bottom had gently crash-landed on the floor and my knees were either side of my nose. I was still clutching my cup.

My friends would doubtless have rescued me from my predicament sooner, had they not been incapacitated by some major-league laughing. Come to that, I could easily have wriggled free myself, but my tummy hurt so much from laughing that it just seemed easier to stay where I was until it left my system.

I was going to tell you about Harry falling 18 inches out of his pushchair onto a stone floor, but he was miraculously unhurt and I still feel sick with guilt and teary when I think about it, so I’ll not bother. I’ll just mention, casually, that he has learnt to crawl since the weekend. My baby! Crawling! What an over-achiever!


8 Responses

  1. Oooooooh so jealous of the fete! I love village fetes but we don’t have anything that even compares in Canada!

  2. Don’t worry, I will ensure that you receive the full flavour of the day! In all its parochial glory.

  3. Village fetes! I love village fetes! My Mum’s village has a fete every summer and the Ladies of the Committee steal H every year and make him Do Trestle Tables, Maths, and Prize-Giving, and flirt with him outrageously. He finds it very slightly annoying that I tease him about his harem of mother hens.

    About the couch – hee hee hee *ahem*. Sorry. If it’s any consolation, I am the One who clambered onto the hammock a few summers ago, whereapon the rope promptly snapped and dropped me on the ground with a hysterically funny loud thump. And I was holding a very large glass of vimto at the time. And was wearing a white dress. That flipped up over my head. Hee hee hee at me too.

    To my eternal guilt and shame and horror, I was left babysitting my sister Diva when she was just at rolling age, and I actually stood by and argued with sister Trouble about who should go and pick baby Diva up and move her back to the middle of the bed when she ROLLED OFF IT AND LANDED ON HER HEAD ON THE TILED FLOOR. Diva howled the palce down, developed a lump like an egg, and was fine within 24 hours. I think I was scarred for life.

  4. Love the dresser! Wish I was that creative. Kids are resilient. It amazes me what they can recover from.

  5. Thank you for all the lovely comments on my blog, you’re so sweet.

    Now, on to you…

    You’re a fantastic artist, I love the scary baby heads and the cool dresser. I look forward to the pictures of your village fest entries or whatever.

    And I’ve also had a moment where I hit the ground after sitting in a hammock. The thing just broke right under my ass. Huh! Sounds like it’s pretty common, don’t worry. 🙂

    One other thing: I’m now wanting very much to do the vicars and tarts party and I’ve always wanted the bouncy castle thing, so I think I may do that this year. Thanks for the ideas!

  6. The dresser looks awesome!!

  7. I’m delurking – 😉

  8. Glad to read that your trip to the floor via busted couch seat was at least a gentle one….and was only seen by friends. That makes it funny, rather than publicly humiliating 🙂


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