Look at the Pretty Pink Clouds!

Look what I bought.

Just for a laugh, you understand. I am not actually that deluded. I know full-well that tragi-comedy is all we can expect from playing around with the drippy Urine Sticks of Confusion. I’ve detected LH surges during my period before now, Goddamn it! I can’t for the life of me figure out why I would still be peeing OAS at that point, but that’s what I appeared to write at the time; the time being September 2004.

Adding breastfeeding hormones into my already-comically-underfunctioning hormonal stew will probably now give rise to some really fucked-up test results. I can’t wait. I’ve almost drawn the conclusion that I must simply enjoy peeing on things, and then staring intently at the results… a desire that you’d think I could easily gratify in any number of discreet locations, at a cost of considerably less than £19.99.

Fun and games, ladies. Fun and games.

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