Hairy Handicrafts

About 20 months ago, I decided I was sufficiently pregnant to be vaguely secure in commissioning  my father to reproduce this


on the chimney breast in Harry’s room. Given that my Dad is just like me, there was a fair-ish delay in construction, which even featured an interim tree.

On Sunday, he came up with the goods proper.



Had my pneumonia-stricken-but-almost-recovered mother not relapsed this week, then no doubt he would have been back over to wire up the lights. Yes, there are twinkly LED lights set in the ceiling beams of the little rooms.

My Dad rocks.

I made Harry some new blackout curtains this week to replace the original roman blind I made whilst pregnant.


I used glass fibre rods, which shed tiny god-awful splinters like buggery if you A) hack madly at them with blunt scissors to trim them to size and B) get the size wrong so they stab through the fabric and C) don’t seal the ends properly. The whole thing was covered with these dreadful splinters (which cause irritation wildly out of proportion to their size) and has had to be burnt; this is a big shame, because it took me ages. Yet another classic case of a Hairy ship being spoilt for h’apporth of tar.

But hey, the new ones are funky and match his bean bag. I may get around to buying the hooks to hold the tie-backs sometime this year.


Now the sewing machine has actually been dragged, clanking, from its lair, I am all fired up to do more. I’m planning to tackle some R cushions next.  The H is covered thickly in smeared chocolate and Wotsits (I can hear you judging me) and the A got a thorough biro-ing earlier today.


By the time I finish the Y, he’ll be using the others to prop up his Wii. Or whatever.

My bursts of creativity do tend to be cyclic, but as my enthusiasm for making things is riding high, I thought I would tell you about Pay it Forward. I caught sight of this nice little idea on Katie’s blog, and promptly volunteered to have some lovely knitwear bestowed upon me.

Essentially the idea is thus: if you are one of the first 3 people to leave a ‘Gimme!’ comment here, then I will hand craft you An Item Of Some Description and despatch it, wherever you are in the world. Those three people must agree to pay it forward and make the same offer to readers of their blog. The gift can be of any price range and you have a whole year to make it. I may even make more than 3 if anyone I think is totally well-deserving of some quality Hairy agricultural tat doesn’t quite make the cut… so don’t be shy if you’re late to the party. You never know your… well, lets call it luck, shall we? Leastways, until you open the parcel.

I was going to tell you in excruciating detail all about my misery about going to the gym 3 times a week, having my metabolic rate shoot up, and consequently eating so much that I put on 8 pounds over Christmas. But relating all the tears is now beyond me. Bygones. Suffice to say: I am still 4 pounds up on where I was when I joined the gym (wail, sob, kick the fucking wall, howl), but am sticking grimly to the thrice-weekly torture. I will shift this evil bloody weight before it kills me. I will. I will I will I will.

On that note, I have to go away now and make something wonderfully calorific, as I am meeting some spectacularly nice and interesting people this Saturday, and if I can’t make myself thin by then, then I’m going to damn well try and make them all fat.

15 Responses

  1. Hello! I’m in! Obviously!

  2. Hurray! I’m first! That went well. Don’t panic, this is not an attempt to get two presents. I just hit ‘post’ in an overexcited frenzy.

    I ADORE the tree. Your Dad rocks EXCEEDINGLY. Little lights! Squeeeeeeee!

    And the curtains. The curtains are good. I wish I could be arsed with curtains and things. I just sit about knitting, like Madame Defarge. Though I haven’t quite worked out how to knit the names of my enemies into my socks yet. Might be theraputic.

    And, oh my, you’re bringing calories? Oh my word. Your calories pack a serious taste-magic. Me happy. Me now WANT to be fat. Mmmmm.

    What else? Oh yes. Best wishes to your Mum for a swift recovery.

    Must now go knit for the internets. Damn you, you handicraft enabler you.

  3. I won’t cheerfully exclaim MEEEEEEE, if only because I know I am so very very poor at doing anything involving my not-so-local post office these days.

    Mournful sigh.

    I am jealous of your talent with sewing machine.


  4. I love that Brambly Hedge image. I would have killed for one of those in my room when I was younger. In fact I still would, if harry decides he hates it when he grows up then it can decorate my bedroom with pride!

  5. Jealous. Grr. Bloggers meeting up without me. Grr.

  6. yes I’m with geohde, I’d love to say gimme but I am completely uncrafty and couldn’t pay it forward to save my life, so you’d better skip me.

    I love the brambly hedge thing. Can I hire your dad to do one for pob?

  7. I love what your Dad made Harry! It’s wonderful.

    I’m tempted to say add me to the queue. I’m not overly craft but I do knit so I could figure something out from that. Have just finished two baby sweaters, a sweater for my 4 yr old nephew and am currently knitting a blanket for another pregnant friend (I seem to be surrounded by them). So a break will be needed, but something knitty could probably be made.

  8. I am so late for this party that it’s almost pointless. But I’m all for the Paying it Forward movement…I’ve been doing it for years in various ways and it is…you know…*WARNING:sappy moment approaching*…good for your soul.

    And I couldn’t not comment about the fabulous Brambly Hedge focal point in Harry’s room. Yes, I have been watching Colin and Justin, why do you ask? I’m watching all sorts of crap since I lost the temporary use of my feet. Your Dad rocks, indeed.

    And am cheering you on with the reducing poundage exercise. I’m too terrified to get on the scale because, well, six weeks of lying about like Cleopatra on the couch. And eating to relieve the boredom. My moment of truth is less than a week away.

  9. Aw…I got to be “spectacularly nice”. Obviously I haven’t been around you during PMS, I’d have just been a “the”.

    I LOVE that Brambly Hedge poster. Please can I know where to procure said perfect poster? And what your Dad made is spectacular. Truly. I am in total awe.

  10. Wow, I’m really impressed with you and your Dad’s talents. The last crafty item I made was probably some very gammy crochet thing when I was in primary school. I’ve never tried to make anything like that as an adult.

    The curtains are so cute, and so appropriate for a farmer’s child. And the Brambly Hedge tree that your Dad made is amazing. With twinkly lights too! You should go into business the pair of you making nursery decorations/paraphenalia.

  11. Hello,

    This is my first time posting. I found you through everydaystranger and have been following and enjoying your blog for a few months. Harry’s Crabapple Cottage wall is amazing! Can your dad please come to New York and put one on my wall, or better yet, in my cubicle at work? 🙂

    I can relate about the gym misery. I told myself I’d start exercising 4 days a week consistently this year. So far I’ve managed 1 day a week for the past 3 weeks. Ugh. Although I do think about exercising alot, if only that counted for something.


  12. That tree is absolutely amazing and I think my jaw actually dropped. It is so gorgeous, I think I might be moving in with Harry forthwith.

    So Helen gets to be “spectacularly nice”, May is “interesting”, and I am “people”. It’s like something my newest colleague said recently regarding when she came for interview, “Barbara was really friendly, Angie was helpful, and Pru was wearing glasses.” Story of my life…

  13. […] yesterday morning. Katie has knitted a beautiful, elegant and soft snuggler for me, as part of the Pay It Forward scheme, and my photo by no means does the fabulous knitwork justice. It even suits […]

  14. […] the proud new owner of a simply beeeeoooooouuutiful scarf that May crocheted for me, for our crafty Pay It Forward. My wonky lavender sachet – which is all I have to show for the whole intervening 12 months […]

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