Syllabic Fog

I shudder to type this, but the possibility has to be faced. The evidence of the last few days leads me to think that eating vast quantities of chocolate, specifically my child’s chocolate, possibly, just might… gulp… give me a headache. Just when I’ve paracetamolled the thing into submission, back it comes. It could just be the guilt, of course. Investigations continue.

So does my period, in spades. The pain factor seems to have increased since having Harry – which is (another) one in the eye for all those canting aunts (and, I have to say, my otherwise delightful mother) who used to carol chirpily at my doubled-over haemorrhaging teenage undiagnosed-didelphic self that it’d all sort itself out when you have a baby! 20 years later, I’m still soaking multiple pairs of knickers and trousers in a bucket, and having to stay at home because I’m losing so much blood I can’t quite keep it sufficiently coralled to comply with socially acceptable standards anywhere, despite a bulging cupboard of bichon frise tampons © Everyday Stranger and sticky-backed duvets © Nuts in May.

This particular period has aggravated me because the Uteri have not performed in tandem. The left hand one kicked off first, and kept me groaning until about Wednesday morning, whereupon the right hand one – which had been suspiciously quiet and painless hitherto – decided to make a late entry to the pain party. 4 days of torrential flow. Bah! To be fair, I also bitch and complain when they empty out together and necessitate me sitting indoors in old clothes (preferably on an elderly bath towel, draped over furniture I don’t much like), for 2 days.

Harry’s speech therapist came again yesterday, and we watched a video she took of us playing with him the previous visit. It was interesting to see, despite the artificial context of the video, that we’re not really leaving Harry enough time-gaps to have a go at copying our words. The silent close was never quite my style when I worked for a living earned a salary, but it seems I need to use it on my son. We also need to make sure we target our conversational commentary more narrowly towards what he is concentrating on.

It’s dawned on John and I that Harry’s first words are not going to suddenly pop out of his babble like perfectly-enunciated bubbles, like many children’s do. His words are crystallising, very slowly, out of the syllabic fog instead. For instance, he has been trying to say ‘geese’ for a few weeks now – varying combinations of ‘eaze’, ‘giss’, ‘eees-eees’ and ‘gee’. He’s never got it quite right, but the pointing figure and the animated expression is pretty easy to interpret, especially when there’s 3 great white honking things stuck on your front lawn every day. He also says geese-like words while pointing at other, completely random, non-geesey objects. It’s all still pretty much noise.

However. Last night, after the now-obligatory (Sob! He used to be SO GOOD at this bit! Sleep: only-slightly-improved living Hairy hell. AND we are both being Consistent. Sigh.) bedtime howling session, I went upstairs to pat and reassure him. It was going well, and he was just beginning to sigh, relax and take long blinks, when outside the window a goose honked noisily. His sleepy eyes shot wide open. ‘Geese!’ he informed me, portentously. I beamed back, and nodded. ‘Geese!’ I agreed. And went downstairs and cried for a clear Word. This morning, he was back to using ‘gee’ or ‘ease’, dammit, but it’s coming. Slowly.

I asked his therapist about any possible learning delay arising from our current problems (especially given that Harry’s prematurity dictates he will be starting school a whole year earlier than we expected, at a very young 4 indeed) but she seemed to think – like us – that Harry is a switched-on little lad who seems bright as a button. His other development areas – pretend play, for instance – all seem fine, and his receptive language is obviously far ahead of his expressive skills. She said she wasn’t worried, and really, neither are we.

The wobbly walk, on the other hand, bugs the absolute living hell out of me. I still can’t let him out of the pushchair for a toddle – take him anywhere a little bit new or different, and he struggles to put one foot in front of another. His new sandals are not helping, either, which is a shame, as he likes having his toes wiggling free. His boots obviously offer better support, but he does so hate wearing socks and shoes. Discounting his generic toddlerly misjudgements, the balance problem only tends to actually cause him bruising these days when he cannons off doorframes because he’s misjudged the gap – a straightforward trip, stagger or fall he is so accustomed to that he generally saves himself well with his hands. His speech therapist has now spent enough time with us at home to see that Harry does indeed have an issue with balance, and is now having a chat with some colleagues to see if she can wangle us a referral to Somewhere-Else-That-I-Didn’t-Quite-Catch. It’s the department where kids with more than one area of developmental concern get hoicked to, apparently, but she wasn’t sure if Harry’s wobbliness was sufficiently weeble-like to get him assessed yet. Still under 2, and all that jive. 

Apropos of nothing, I caught him feeding his lunchtime sandwiches into the video last week, the little blighter. I thought he was eating unusually well.

My head thumps, the uteri are cramping and Harry’s just started crying. Again. Can I swop lives with someone very rich, healthy and untroubled, just for a few days? Please?


10 Responses

  1. I’m having caffeine withdrawl headaches, which are not as fun as chocolate headaches. Why do I keep going back to the caffeine?

  2. Yeah for your speech therapist! Triple yeah for GEESE! And how excellent that she might get the doors opened for someone to check out his balance.

    Although I have heard stories of the crystal-clear first word, we had an experience much like yours; and, as other words emerged, that’s how it continued to be.

    As the headache, I am avowing that it is connected to your uterine pain, as it would just be too unfair if you had chocolate-consumption issues as well as having to contend with not just one but two angry uteri.

    I hope you feel better soon! And sleep, Harry, sleep.

  3. Ack. Headache and period at once?

    That is unfair indeed,



  4. I’m not rich, but I currently do not have a headache, nor am I a wandering menstrual. So, if you’re so inclined, you may swap with me.
    My child’s first words did not come out formed either and she was full-term. Crayons became ‘cayrons’, Christmas ‘krimih’ and shoes are still ‘sooz’ (at nearly 3 years old).
    As for the wobbles, I do hope they go away soon. I know what it is to go running around with your arms stuck out in front of you bent double as you try to prevent a fall (or chase a Smartie rolling down the sidewalk).

  5. I take topamax daily for recurrent migraines and still get headaches daily for the week of my cycle for which I take imitrex. I would not take anything except that they cause me to vomit which is very unpleasant and of course since my mom passed on that small aneurysm issue all questions regarding headaches must be avoided.
    It is very common for headaches to be triggered by hormones, chocolates and many other things, even meds to treat headaches can have a rebound effect. Can you use the med available in the UK just for headaches with caffeine, codeine and tylenol? It is a very effective combination and is available over the counter, not so in the states. (I had some in August).

  6. Yay on the speech developments, and those are definitely developments. If you’re feeling down go back and read your archives, he’s already made so much progress.
    And hey, if the wobbliness continues he’ll be a cheap drunk!

  7. Your period is dreadfully longer than usual because your uteri are shedding the lining one after the other, at different times? I never even thought of that… Do you think this is possibly why us didelphics’ monthly visitors are unusually unpleasant?

  8. Hmmmm, can’t help on the rich front and now I think about it, untroubled is hardly a word I can connect to me. Healthy….mmm, feet are better but I have overdosed on sugar since the week before Easter. And not just of the chocolate kind. But also the artificially coloured kind. However, no headache.

    Deepest and most heartfelt sympathies on the badly behaving uteri. I also listened to the “It will get better when you have babies” rubbish as well as my sensitive mother “Period pain is just mind over matter”. Yeah, and endometriosis is just something the drug companies made up so they can increase their profits. How bad is it when childbirth WAS less painful than some of my periods. And given that it only lasted four hours it was certainly a lot less time than my period subjected me to.

    So…hugs and a hot water bottle is all I can offer. And sweeties. Lots of them!

  9. Didn’t know anyone suggested babies as a way to cure period pain. Uh, never had any UNTIL I had a baby. Now it’s Crampy McCramperson once a month, and I have newfound solidarity with wincing womankind.

    Oh, Harry, geese geese geese! What an excellent first word. And I think his choice of such implies that once the child gets talking, he’ll talk nonstop night and day like the feathered critters themselves.

  10. (uterine fibroid)? I’m whispering only because it was the reason MY periods got increasingly wretched. Just got gutted like a fish to retrieve the monster thing burrowing into my pelvic wall and nearly cervix all at once a week ago. Would not recommend having such a thing. Thought you should put it on your list of Good Stuff to Exclude from Possibility if only because it is a frequent cause of exactly such symptoms in some number of women.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: