Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Today, the fires of my personality are dampened. In fact, I’ve seen pissed-on barbeques show more spark than what looked out of the mirror this morning. There was a 30th birthday party next door last night; as it was Harry’s godmother, we felt it best to exclude him completely from the proceedings and enjoy ourselves without him.  I probably judged the wine and champagne vaguely right, but slipped up badly with the whisky – in that, I actually drank some.

John & I staggered down the hill at midnight like an ambulatory A-frame, and proceeded to talk unmitigated shit to his parents, whom we had left on guard over a snoring Harry. Given that my dear old FIL probably dozed in front of our TV (as opposed to his own) for the entire evening, I did go to bed worrying vaguely about having a guard to guard the guard in future.

You can clearly tell we are getting older. Harry, after busting our chops with yet another 5.30am wake-up, went down for a nap at 10.30am… and by 10.35am John & I had given in to our nap-envy and were also back in bed, snoring blamelessly. I did manage to redeem myself by dragging a skirt and boots on and staggering out into Stratford to wine & dine again with friends this evening, but I was ineffectually smothering yawns the entire time, despite excellent company.

I am, my friends, Past It.

However, I have recently lived a vicariously wild life via http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

I urge you to partake!


15 Responses

  1. Oh Mrs. HF, the way you put things is just wonderful. The line ” John & I staggered down the hill at midnight like an ambulatory A-frame” was better than a photograph of the two of you at that moment. Your MIL sounds like mine. I won’t let her IN my house, let alone in it ALONE. Never mind the bank statements, she’d be rifling through my knickers (clucking at their sad state no doubt), knowing her.

  2. Sounds like you have a great time. lol


  3. i love that site. my favourite text continues to be:
    “(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is. “

  4. I keep telling myself I should really aim a little higher intellectually, but then I read a corker like that and realise that my sense of humour is, and forever will be, a total teenage pleb!

  5. Your weekend sounds like my weekend, and yes I also decided I’m getting too old for cocktails and dancing the night away. My head was fine in the morning, it was my legs that had paid the price, ouch, sore muscles!

  6. as it should be:) that one is a classic of the genre!

  7. Yaar, I just viewed ALL of FAILblog.org! A multi-day journey of stupid. At least texts are, well, text.

  8. You and me both my dear – no stamina. What happened to the girl who drank pints of Stella at lunchtime and then made sense in tutorials?

  9. I can still do it, I just don’t want to! We’ve outgrown it is the problem. Once in awhile, on a girls’ night is cool, but yeah, I don’t like feeling like a monkey s___ in my mouth every weekend. That part’s no fun.

  10. I am an absolute light-weight. I had two beers while watching Eurovision, and woke up on Sunday going ‘urgh’. I think I fried my liver with onions at Shannon and Alaister’s dinner-party.

    “Ambulatory A-frame” is genius. Mwah!

  11. Also entirely past it here….

    Very past it.


  12. I watched everyone drink themselves silly on Sunday night and woke up feeling hung over. Very passed it here too!

  13. Thankfully some bloggers can still write. My thanks for this article…

  14. I agree completely!

  15. Youre indeed right with this one!!!

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