Viscous Giraffe

In a desperate attempt to distract myself from A) the fact that John’s sister and BIL are selling their farm at auction tonight and the family is on tenterhooks, B) the fact that Harry’s Paediatrician’s appointment is tomorrow and I’m nervous already and C) Harry is resisting his nap today with OMG so much intensity and noise, I thought I would borrow an idea from the wondrous Geode and regale you with some of my more delightful search-engine referral terms.

The vast majority of my referrals make sense to me: over a thousand of my visits have been from people looking for Thelwell images, several of which I have featured here. They are absolutely and uniformly delightful, and I seldom need an excuse for another one.

Thelwell Pony

There you go. Most horses I try to ride react pretty much like this one.

As I say, most of the terms either appertain reasonably clearly to words and phrases I have used here – or originate from that dedicated little section of the population who have a constant and unrequited passion for hairy porn. I have had significant numbers of people arrive here packing (presumably) an expectant semi, in the hope of encountering 1970s pubes* being bent over the straw bales. Hairy porn. Hairy wife. Hairy fuck. Hairy groans. Hairy cunt. Hairy hot. Farmer’s daughter. Hairy Farmer’s daughter. Hairy pregnant. Grandmother hairy. Hairy insertion. Etc. Et-slightly-alarming-ceterae. I’ve had to look in the fabulous Urban Dictionary for some of them.

To my horrified disappointment, I recently realised that WordPress only retains referral summaries, and I have lost forever some of the stranger ones that tickled me pink. Hairy Granny Gash was probably the one that John and I theorised most about: we eventually decided that it was probably best if we thought of that particular surfer as a Hairy Grandad. I have just subscribed to site meter, in the hope of never losing another gem.

Hairy humongous bosoms

Viscous giraffes

Wifey anal play

Bust him in the mouth pics

22 euro hairy sofa

Farmer boobs

Rayol wedding

Hairy woman like big cook (I feel this one may, possibly, feature a typo)

Giant suppository

terlwell bilder (I have No Idea what this means, and neither do Google or Yahoo, but I’ve had 7 referrals for it. If you know, please do tell me!)

Uttering didelphys

And, my absolute all-time favourite orthography FAIL:

Nashnel Trust

*They’re closer than they realise on that one.

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17 Responses

  1. I am so sorry about John’s sister and BIL’s farm. My guess is that making a go of farming is not easy anywhere, I only hope that they get a the price that they want. And I hope that your doctor is listening tomorrow and receptive to what you and John are saying. I hope that Harry is found to be strong in his letters, (and numbers for that matter!)
    But whatever the cause, I just hope that you are finally started on the road to diagnostics, which is which will finally give you some answers.
    I will be thinking of you and John and especially the wonderful Harry tomorrow.

  2. Well I am not sure what it means but I found an Afghan website in German filled with pictures of Angelina Jolie and others that came up under the term “terwell bilder”. So perhaps your searcher could not spell, as this term brought up many such sites, all in German, all from Afghanistan, interesting. I am attaching the link just for fun. It is very mild but maybe not if you live in Afghanistan and have a thing for Angie! http://www.google.com/search?q=terwell+bilder&hl=en&client=firefox-a&channel=s&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=x1u&start=20&sa=N
    Bild in German is the verb to build, so my guess is that is the verb for website, but I could be totally wrong, but it appears that that is how it translates for the Afgans sites.

  3. That is very odd, the site now directs you to something totally site, those Afgans are very sneaky! I guess you can’t be seen looking at picture of girl can you? I wonder how they did that? I will have to investigate that.

  4. *giggles*

    Why does everyone else have much more interesting search terms than me?

  5. Um, Bild is german for picture, not build. And Bilder is plural, so pictures.

    Wondering if there is a simpler explanation for this one – terlwell as a (phoneticish if you’re german) typo for thelwell, ie it’s germans looking for thelwell pics?

  6. Hope tomorrow is useful and questions get answered.

    Those searches are further proof that humans are very very scary.

  7. Fingers crossed for tomorrow and for the auction and then toes crossed for tomorrow again.

    I usually get peculiar requests for meringue, lust, or nuts, in NASTY combinations with other body-parts.

  8. “Hairy woman like big cook (I feel this one may, possibly, feature a typo)”

    Yeees…should be “womyn.”

  9. ah…hilarious! And i hope that we get to see Viscous Giraffes in pottery very soon.

  10. A humble suggestion?

    Keep a tabbed page at the top for the misdirected googlers to explain that, no, they are wasting their time here and B: a list of what brought them to you that they shall NOT find.

    Personally, I do both and I poke fun about once a month (geddit?) via agony aunt

    g

  11. Thalia, you are absolutely right, that is what I get for relying on my very rusty German ( and the google translating program) and my lack of knowledge about fine porcelains and pottery . But I did learn quite a bit about websites and their ability to redirect from links. I am still learning about it and who know that they could do that? I didn’t but who knew that men in Afghanistan had a thing for Angelina Jolie, well I guess that is a Universal constant?

  12. And there was I thinking I had pube searches sewn up. I was never so proud as when I discovered a search for “retro muff” has me at number three.

    I think Thalia is spot on with the “terlwell bilder” unless they meant terrible builder …

    How’d the auction go?

  13. Nashnel Trust? Love it!

  14. Nashnel Trust had me choking on my tea!

    My last two search strings were “How to know you have rats in the garage” and “Boys pissing”.

    Very strange indeed!

  15. I like big cook! I’ll take chicken marsala please, with a side of mashed potatoes. Don’t skimp on the mushrooms.

    What? Is it because I’m not hairy? Rats.

  16. […] The actual number of readers doesn’t interest me so much, it’s how they arrive here. My WordPress stats page lists all the search engine referral terms, as well as links from other blogs and it’s usually quite straightforward to work out whom has come from where, and why – and if you can’t, then your clever chums can do it for you. […]

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