On Cue

The red menace is attempting to get itself underway. It knows very well that today is our village fete and I am spending the entire afternoon stood in the middle of a facility-less field. If I am lucky, I will make it to this evening before the serious cramps start and the ominous knicker-staining becomes the ubiquitous trouser-soaking tsunami. If I’m not lucky, then really, neither is anyone else. No-one needs to see that.

I will now be spending Tuesday – *Monday is a public holiday in the UK – on a 60 mile round trip to have bloodwork done. I am not nervous about the needle; but I’m uneasy about what the results might show.

On Wednesday I am scheduled to have my everlasting, continually-tearing, over-enthusiastic-post-partum-stitching freshly-acquired-in-late-life hymen (some women would pay thousands for it, I’m sure) removed. I cancelled the previous surgery date because I was mid-period. Doh. A call is in to Philogynae, but I suspect I’ll end up getting it done anyway.

This month may also spell the (eventual) end of Harry’s protracted morning boob habit, as I fully intend codeining myself up to the eyeballs should I need to.  

That is all.

*Not every Monday. Damn fine idea, mind you, but just this one coming.

10 Responses

  1. Can you imagine every Monday being a Bank Holiday? Sigh.

    So it’s a bad busy week, huh? I’ll be sending codeine-laced non-pain laced thoughts your way, for all the good THAT will do.

  2. oh man. We have to wait another whole week for our three day weekend. Oh, pardon me, BANK HOLIDAY weekend. Geez. You English. Can’t even speak American properly…

  3. Good luck on Wednesday and with the weaning off the boob.

    I am sending a few of the happy thoughts I have remaining your direction. But if you could recycle them and send them back to me when you’re done, that would be appreciated.

  4. Oh, good luck with all that.
    It really is a bit of a stinger, isn’t it, that we have to be reminded that we are not pregnant in such a painful way?
    Nature is mean.

  5. Good luck….

  6. When I redesign people, inside the fluffy pink clouds inside my head, nobody will get periods unless they have been really naughty and deserve it. They’re horrid.


    • Heh heh. I have a list of deserving candidates, starting with my mother and ending with the current Pope.

  7. My GOD, what a week. Hugs and strong drink to you, and I will be thinking of you on Wednesday. Hoping the Red Menace gives you an easier ride this time.

    And especially, good luck on the loss of your virginity. No one should have to go through that twice ; ).

  8. Good luck. What a week. Enjoy the codeine. God gave us poppies for a very good reason.

  9. Hope the blood results give you good news. The thought of CRM makes my indsides shudder – you are a brave girl.

    Good luck for tomorrow too, expect you will be NIL by mouth at this point!! x

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