Failing to function

Hail, Appliance, and farewell!

Your tenure was brief.


6 + 7 across:

Fridge-Freezer. The crossword clue?

‘Quite large paperweight’.


The finish is nigh

Hairy refrigerator

Meets its Recycler



Lights. Augural drip-dripping

Rain. Fuck and alas.



7 Responses

  1. Should, of course, be 5-7-5. Except I’ve decided that ‘6+7 across’ only contains five syllables today, so knock yourselves out!

  2. Application forms
    Mad formatting, mad fonts, mad
    Are they serious?!

  3. Which puts me in mind of the immortal collection:

    Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes, and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred.

    Everything is gone;
    Your life’s work has been destroyed.
    Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

    Windows NT crashed.
    I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.

    Seeing my great fault
    Through darkening blue windows
    I begin again

    The code was willing,
    It considered your request,
    But the chips were weak.

    Printer not ready.
    Could be a fatal error.
    Have a pen handy?

    A file that big?
    It might be very useful.
    But now it is gone.

    Errors have occurred.
    We won’t tell you where or why.
    Lazy programmers.

    Server’s poor response
    Not quick enough for browser.
    Timed out, plum blossom.

    Chaos reigns within.
    Reflect, repent, and reboot.
    Order shall return.

    Login incorrect.
    Only perfect spellers may
    enter this system.

    This site has been moved.
    We’d tell you where, but then we’d
    have to delete you.

    Wind catches lily
    Scatt’ring petals to the wind:
    Segmentation fault

    ABORTED effort:
    Close all that you have.
    You ask way too much.

    First snow, then silence.
    This thousand dollar screen dies
    so beautifully.

    With searching comes loss
    and the presence of absence:
    “My Novel” not found.

    The Tao that is seen
    Is not the true Tao, until
    You bring fresh toner.

    The Web site you seek
    cannot be located but
    endless others exist

    Stay the patient course
    Of little worth is your ire
    The network is down

    A crash reduces
    your expensive computer
    to a simple stone.

    There is a chasm
    of carbon and silicon
    the software can’t bridge

    Yesterday it worked
    Today it is not working
    Windows is like that

    To have no errors
    Would be life without meaning
    No struggle, no joy

    You step in the stream,
    but the water has moved on.
    This page is not here.

    No keyboard present
    Hit F1 to continue
    Zen engineering?

    Hal, open the file
    Hal, open the damn file, Hal
    open the, please Hal

    Out of memory.
    We wish to hold the whole sky,
    But we never will.

    Having been erased,
    The document you’re seeking
    Must now be retyped.

    The ten thousand things
    How long do any persist?
    Netscape, too, has gone.

    Rather than a beep
    Or a rude error message,
    These words: “File not found.”

    Serious error.
    All shortcuts have disappeared
    Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

    • Each of these were printed on individual cards and hung around the walls at the very first IT job I ever did.

      The one in my cubicle was the First snow then silence one. I still laugh when I see it.

  4. We’re on vacation
    Extra fun instead of naps
    Mom needs a large drink

  5. Run by the canal
    Rabbits scattering ahead
    Cows drink cool water

  6. *Clears throat*

    Melbourne has Metro
    Unreliable stuff up
    Late home yet again.

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