Anaemia of the Exchequer

We’ve been considering this whole IVF thing.

The clinic charges £2500, inclusive of scans, sedation & freezing, exclusive of drugs.

The HFEA charge £105 for… existing. And, yes, probably some other useful regulatory stuff that I can’t be faffed to think about just at present.

Fair enough, I thought.

And then, this evening, I looked up how much the drugs are. Dear, sweet, grinning protestant God.

Treatment scheduling: Contraceptive pill. Pennies! And GP-prescribed in any case. No worries there.

Stims: A 75ui vial of Menopur is nearly £20 a pop, and I will require at least 2 a day. I eventually upped to 3 on both IVF cycles, and stimmed for… 13 days? Longer? I can’t remember, but I know they had to keep sending me back to the pharmacy with prescriptions for MOARDRUGSLOTSMOARDRUGS. And, I threw vials and vials of Menopur away a couple of years ago when it date-expired. Why the buggery hell did I not offer it to someone else?

Disabling Pituitary: I require 0.25mg of Cetrolrelix a day, from the 5th day of stimulation until trigger day. £30 a shot. Yowsa. (Conventional downregulation, as far as I can make out, 

is £30 per cycle.)

hCG: Pregnyl is £4.00, and I reckon I can afford that, no bother, although the memory of the dose I kept in the fridge until it, like the menopur, drifted past its expiry, is irksome.

Luteal Phase Support: Cyclogest 400mg x 2/day. 84p per individual lard torpedo. £1.68p/day is a mere spit in the tarn, but I shall nevertheless be rootling through the cupboards to find the box I know still exists somewhere. It had better be in bloody date, because if I have hoarded it all this time for nothing, then I shall be cross.

So:

Pill: neglible.

Stims: let us be hopeful and say 40 vials will suffice: £756

Cetrotide: for, say, 10 days, as running out would be unfortunate: £300

hCG: £4.50

Cyclogest: £11.76/week for… what… 12 weeks? If successful? 2 weeks if not? £23.52 or £141.12

756+300+4.50+23.52=£1084. Plus the aforementioned £2605 = £3689. Call it £3,700 with postage.

And then, of course, there is the heparin (and the aspirin, natch), but the NHS will thankfully pick up the tab for that if necessary, given that I would be requiring its assistance in keeping a whole other person alive at that point.

If I require any other drugs that I have failed to account for, please hint at it very gently indeed, because I am reeling in horror, and asking myself just how scared I am of that uterus.

£3,700 worth of scared?

That’s an awful fat lot of scared.

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