This

is why I am feeling thoroughly depressed. (The numbering is entirely arbitrary, but they are in top-down date sequence.) The odd rogue result I can ignore. This… isn’t a rogue result.

And also this, which would neatly account for small-for-dates.

And the fact that I no longer feel sick.

Damnit.

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32 Responses

  1. Ah, shit. That is…not reassuring. I’m sorry.

  2. Fucking google. Fucking hCG levels. Fucking hell.

    I wish I knew what to say, other than a bit more gratuitous swearing.

  3. I see – damndamndamnit, indeed, and FECKIT, too.

    I am sorry, Ann.

  4. I know not what to say, except to join in WFI’s gratuitous swearing. Fucking, fucking crap.
    I realise this is a very silly question, but is there anything I can do?

  5. I went and looked, hmmm scary, BUT while the odds aren’t the best I’ve ever seen, some of those pregnancies worked out ok and so I’m going to keep hoping this one does too.

  6. hi friend of May’s here

    I’m keeping you in my thoughts, I so hope it all goes well.

  7. Shit. Whilst I would generally discount the sickness as a totally unreliable indicator of anything I am joining the general swearing at the universe on the other stuff. Are you getting another hcg?

  8. Fuck. I really wanted to make a case for cheap peesticks being unreliable, but I see what you mean.

    I guess the next step is that beta?

    I imagine during these tense moments the idea of a gravel-filled sock looks better and better, as opposed to the waiting and worrying.

    Thinking of you, very much.

  9. Piss bum bugger.

    Don’t know what to say. Just am thinking about you all and turbo. How is your hubby deAling with it?

    Take care x

  10. I’m with Sharon. A cigar isn’t always a cigar.

    It’s true that something could be going awry.

    It’s also true that you saw a heartbeat yesterday.

    I’m starting a PayPal collection to send you a collection of expensive, “I will not fuck with you” hpts. Stop using the cheapies – I know not these brand but they are making my friend unhappy, therefore they must pay.

    The bottom line is this: the Googling will drive you crazy. The pregnancy is completely and totally out of your hands right now – it is literally that frustrating as hell point of “what will be will be”. Breathe in, breathe out, fake a fall down the stairs to get more scans in (every little helps). I am here (or not here) if you need me (or don’t want to need me or, indeed, don’t need me. Entirely based on your whims, my dahlink.)

    And stay out of Google. Dr. Google never did anyone any good.

    • Agreed with this! Not that I am telling you “don’t worry, be happy” but the internets are fully capable of providing whatever information is needed to justify one’s current thinking, no matter what it is.

  11. Fuck cheap pee-sticks. They are arseholes and will fuck with you. Extravagantly. They want you weeping, they want you raging, they want you neurotic as a bag of wet cats.

    My darling, much internet hand-holding. I am even checking on your blog three times a day at WORK, so I can tell myself I am holding your hand.

    I wish I were a tad less atheistic sometimes. It’s very hard to do proper hand-holding and blasphemic swearage when you’re forced to think things like ‘Oh random fluctuations in the space time continuum’.

  12. That is a complete mind fuck. I do hope that’s all it is. More hugs.

  13. oh bum tit willy wank. I am crossing, tugging, holding everything, everywhere. arse feckers bollix bum.

  14. Ok let’s take it one by one.

    1. I don’t believe the peesticks. They are not meant to be quantitative and you can see an effect of more protein binding to the antibodies in the strip and actually overwhelming the dye. If you wanted to get one of the clearblue easy digitals which give you the weeks read out I’d be more inclined to believe it

    2. That article means notthing given we have no evidence your beta is not rising properly

    3. Small for dates? When did you get that read? Your earlier scan didn’t say that, and you just saw a heartbeat at 6.5 weeks which is bang on so in no way indicates small for dates (ability to see heartbeat is related to size). What did I miss?

    Overall I completely agree that the whole thing is a total mindfuck. We are all here to help you hang on til that scan on Monday, and I’d ask for a quantitative beta at the same time.

    I’m so sorry that this is (yet again) so hard.

  15. Put DOWN the peesticks, woman. That way lies madness. Seriously. I know how totally fret making this all is, believe me, I do, but I think at this point you need some hard, beta number facts, ma’am. Hang in there, the internets are with you.

  16. The only thing I would add (for the very little it is worth), that study? Not a large amount of women….

    Thinking positive thoughts for you

    • I am also pissed at the way the author in that study states the conclusion –given the small sample size and the fact that even in this small sample, some of the pregnancies resulted in successful, full-term pregnancies, the suggestion that women should be advised at 8 weeks that their pregnancy might not make it is ludicrous. I’m surprised it got published.

  17. It could be anything. Really. Dehydration followed by rehydration. Up in the night more times to pee. Anything.

    Deep breaths.

  18. We abide with you.

    and wait for more scans and more blood tests to show something more conclusive, and hopefully positive.

  19. Conducting scientific studies on yourself is generally frowned upon. 🙂

    Hoping that everything will be OK in spite of your fears and worries and peesticks and symptom disappearance.

    But if nothing else, this dilemma has created some creative swearing opportunities.

  20. As I could not possibly phrase it in a better fashion than Katieboo, I shall just repeat what she said,

    “oh bum tit willy wank. I am crossing, tugging, holding everything, everywhere. arse feckers bollix bum.”

    And also, fucksocks.

    But still hoping for the best. After all, 30+% of the women in that study had positive results. There’s nothing to say you won’t be in that category, too.

  21. I am absolutely 100% with Thalia. Step away from PubMed, lady.

  22. You are all the bestest internets that ever there was. I love you all. I came on the hen weekend, although I didn’t really feel like it, and am currently lying just-woken in a Chester b&b, where I am sharing with a nice girl I only met last night and therefore would prefer not to actually howl in front of. You are making me come awfully close though. Thankyou for caring.

    I came in my own car in case I wasnt feeling like staying, but am actually quite looking forward to pottery and burlesque dancing, although the night out might be a short one. Thinking about something different is nice, certainly. Harry is delightedly staying at my mother’s for the first time ever. John is doing lads stuff, I expect.

    I have just opted to not pee on a stick. There you go. I am on holiday from peesticks.

    • Good thinking. And hope you enjoy the weekend as much as is possible right now.

    • Ooh pottery does sound like fun… Good girl for not peeing on anything, that way madness lies I suspect.

      Any you sort of, nearly, kind of, have to drive past my house on your way home. Just saying. In case you need a hug or a shoulder or a cup of tea etc.

    • So sorry dear girl, I’ve missed three installments this week due to crap overload of my own and the good things I was hopeful of happening for you have been quite the reverse. Except the heartbeat…that’s good news.

      Lots of good advice here, and I second Thalia’s calm analysis. Got the rah-rah skirt, got the pom-poms and will give them a super workout over the weekend on your behalf.

      Hoping for nothing but good news to come.

  23. I agree with whoever said that peesticks are NOT quantitative. Any assay of this type is subject to the hook effect, where the antibodies get overwhelmed and can show a false positive. Fingers crossed and hoping for a good beta!

  24. Have everything crossed for you hun, hope the burlesque was fun too!

  25. Hope you are wrong, scared you are right
    hug
    I’d like to see photos of the burlesque dancing – but that sounds very creepy now I’ve written it

  26. […] furthermore, since late on Saturday, which was a lovely but tiring day (my pottery kicks ass; my burlesque dancing… well, kicks ass after a fashion, mainly if […]

  27. […] Thalia has ridden in on a white horse to rescue me from the corner of Science Stupidity I’d painted myself into. Not the first time the lady has kindly extracted me from there, […]

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